lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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