no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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