talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
