Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
