we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
