3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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