i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
