Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
