So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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