idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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