Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The Olympian is in my bed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
