I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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