Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
