I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
