And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
