soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
