Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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