All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
