We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
