I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
