every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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