escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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