omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
