i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
