now i know why i became what i already was.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
