i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
