VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
