Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I understand Curling. That high.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
