Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he thought i was a dude.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
