Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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