I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
