their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize