Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize