White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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