Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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