he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
