oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
