i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
