i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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