not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
