dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
