Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
