I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
