The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
