She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
