3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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