Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
