I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
