I CAN MOONWALK!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
