I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
