so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
