I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize