She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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