Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
