One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
