quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
