And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
