what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
