A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
