I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
